Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Dating Can Be Intimidating

TENTATIVE TOM IN TAMPA writes: I am newly single after a 30-year marriage. Would you please explain to me the protocol regarding intimacy? After how many dates is it appropriate to engage in intimacy? And afterward, should the man call the woman or the woman call the man? How long should one wait before calling? I'm afraid if I call too soon I'll appear needy, and if I wait too long to call I'll appear to be a player. -- TENTATIVE TOM IN TAMPA

Dear Tentative,

Thirty years is a long time to be out of the dating scene but you can be comforted that not a lot has changed. There is no dating "Bible", if you will, because it is something that is done based on instinct. It's understandable that you're nervous but you already have everything you need to get back in the game. When you take a lady out, all the gentlemanly things to do stand, open her door, pay for dinner, and walk her to her front door at the end of the night. Everything else while on the date will depend on the chemistry between you. Trust your feelings and act on them. If she reciprocates, that opens up doors for getting closer. Be sensitive to her vibes; if she isn't into you, you'll know it and visa versa. If she doesn't want to be intimate, she'll tell you. As far as how long to wait before real about it. If you want to call, then call. Be true to yourself at all times and she won't ever consider you a "Player". One last thing, be confident. Even if you aren't, fake it until you are. Confidence above everything else is very attractive.

1 comment:

  1. Tis true, dating takes time and is based on each persons comfortable pace rather than a strict guideline... I love your blog!